Hello, Patient 24602
How are you feeling?
Brooke: Uh...not great
Has the treatment been working?
Brooke: Uh, no I don't think so...no
What are your remaining symptoms?
Brooke: I..I just internalize my feelings a lot. I have trouble articulating how I'm feeling to other people, I feel like I just-
So basically just like in high school you're still a little bitch!
Brooke: Yes, very mature which one of us is the robot again?
I was just joking, bro
Brooke: Well just because you're joking doesn't mean those words aren't offensive.
I'm not human I can say whatever I want!
Brooke: Please, just...just get to the point. What the hell is going on?!
Your emotions and your logic are at war.
Your two sides of your Youtube channel are at war.
Brooke: Wait WHAT?!
Put simply, your left and right brain are at war.
Brooke: My left and my...
To fix this problem we must seperate them from each other...
Brooke: SEPERATE M-My Brain?!
Splitting your neurological functions in 5...4...
Brooke: Wait right now, can't we book an appointment or something?!
Brooke: You don't just begin counting down to seperating my brain, shit I'm going to have a panic attack!
This may hurt a bit...
Brooke: I don't even know what 'IT' is
Brooke: Just tell me what you're.....
This is Brisingr, Brooke's left brain: Objective, logical, cold , analytical. Aware of Patterns, aware of trends, she's efficent but a total bitch!
This is Rize Brooke's right brain: Subjective, Creative, Sensory, Aware of Feelings, aware of people, she's hugely emotional and an idiot.
Rize: Hey! That's your opinion- just careful with opinions)
Okay, ladies play nice.
Brisingr: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. I work real hard 'til' Brooke's inevitable death brain. You got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brains might!
Rize: I like oreoes and pussy cats, (yes, in that order). And I cried for at least an hour after watching The Lion King (Mufasa!)
Cause I am the right brain, I have feelings, I'm a little all over the place, but I'm lustful, trustful and I'm looking for somebody to love...and break my heart again!
Brisingr: Here comes a female, here comes a female. Quick, puff your chest out, take your phone out and check your email.
Our evolutionary purpose is repopulate.
But Brooke's asexual so maybe just a date.
Rize: Holy Fuck! I think she might be the one, there's something about her, I just can't describe it.
Rize: I am the earth, she's my glorious sun. I want her to trust me and I want her to- how do I say this?
Love me? Yeah. Hey Lady LOVE ME!!!!!
Brisingr: Alright now Rize dear you're acting insane!
Rize: No, Bree I'm just being alive. You should try it, you might like it
Brisingr: I worked hard to give her everything she cared about. You were worried about the things she was scared about. I'm calm and collected, when you act wild.
I'm the adult here, you're the child!
Rize: So! You think you're the right one everytime, you think you know everything but you don't know anything at all.
Rize: Half of Brooke's problems are supposed to be mine!
But you wanted everything.
I hope you're happy, 'cause' she's sure not.
Brisingr: Well according to my analysis, I'm sorry let me just check those numbers again...Ah just as I thought you're a wimp!
Rize: I'm the wimp? Well, at least I don't freak her out everytime she jumps a horse.
Brisingr: She was going to jump a metre high fence on a horse that stag leaps, she could have come off and seriously hurt herself.
Rize: Brisingr is afraid, Brisingr is afraid.
Look at you Miss Scardey Cat!
Brisingr: Well, at least I did my fucking job! Alright. I kept her moving, I kept her focused; you were supposed to look after her.
You were supposed to keep her emotionally stable through all this shit.
Now you're trying to blame me for how she is feeling?
How she is feeling!
If she's depressed and anxious, it's because you failed her
You did this to her. She hates you I know she does; she fucking hates you!
Rize: *bursts into tears*
Brisingr: -sighs heavily- Rize...Rize I'm sorry, okay?
Rize: N-no You're Not...
Brisingr: Look, maybe there's something that we could do together...
Brisingr: Take the best parts of both us, combine them together.
Rize: I'm listening
Brisingr: It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze
So you could man the themes and I'll man the form.
It's something that Pewdiepie did, it's something that Mark and Jack did.
It could be Brooke's chance to finally soar
Do you know what it is?
Rize: Ooh, Juggling.
We could juggle and juggle our cares away!
Brisingr: Oh for the love of...Youtube, Rize; fuck! We could do Youtube together
Brisingr: All right, Rize, we're going to do YouTube together, we gotta do YouTube together.
Rize: Alright, Bree I'll do YouTube with you
Brisingr: Look, we can fix her like this- we can make her happy again. I promise, all right?
Rize: Brisingr...Bree I love you
Brisingr: I know...
(1. Experimentation complete)